Monday, January 19, 2009
The Heart Factor
I have just started reading a book called "The Sacred Romance" by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge and had to share a piece of it with you: "In the end, it doesn't matter how well we have performed or what we have accomplished - a life without heart is not worth living. For out of this wellspring of our soul flowers all true caring and all meaningful work, all real worship and all sacrifice. Our faith, hope, and love issue from this fount, as well. Because it is in our heart that we first hear the voice of God and it is in the heart that we come to know him and learn to live in his love." It is often interesting to me, although not suprising, that when God is trying to tell me something He will continue to tell it to me in as many ways as possible until I get it. Well, God - message received.
In the beginning of the book I am reading, the author mentions that all of us - no matter our relationship with Christ, are always wanting more. More love, more emotion, more meaning - More Heart. I can definitely relate to the desire for more out of life - as I'm sure you can. I have been overwhelmed with the feeling lately that there is so much more than I am getting. I seek God - but do I seek Him hard enough? I praise God - but do I praise him often enough? I worship God - but do I worship with ALL of my life, or simply with my song? I have to confess that everything I could ever give would never be enough. So, how do I get more? I'm not exactly sure. I suppose that just knowing that there is more will force me to seek harder and praise more often and try to learn how to worship with everything that is me. At least I hope that is the case.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Weekly Weigh-In
I HATE weekly weigh-ins. I gained 3 pounds this last week. Probably because I've been sick, the kids have been sick - and I haven't been to the grocery store in almost 2 weeks - so we've eaten out ALOT. Ugh.
Honestly, I'm not really very motivated right now to do much better. Kids are still sick - and I feel like I haven't slept in a week (probably pretty close to the truth).
However, I KNOW - God desires better from me. He demands my very best. He will not settle for my leftovers (no food pun intended). I know that He expects me to be the very best me I can (I know it sounds cheesy - but it's true). SO - I WILL do better this week. Meet me back here next week for an update. Same bat time, same bat channel :)
Monday, January 05, 2009
Weekly Weigh-In
Last week - 221.9 (that was last Tuesday)
Yesterday - 221
I think that considering I ate a LOT of sweets during Christmas - that's not too bad. I've mostly maintained - although I'm 1 pound heavier than I was a month ago - ugh.
I worked out 3 times this last week, though - so hopefully I'm on the right track now.
By the way...am I the only one still doing this Biggest Loser thing? 3 more months to go - anyone still in?
Friday, January 02, 2009
Little girls
My little girl is 8 1/2 now. But 8 1/2 nowadays is more like 10 1/2 was back in my day (like I'm SO old). She is growing up so much faster than I did - at least it seems that way. She is asking questions I don't have answers to, and is worried all the time about everything. Did we worry that much when we were kids? Sometimes I worry that her worry is a result of my worry. - wow - that's a lot of worry!
I'm realizing today that there really are just a few things that she needs on a daily basis. Here are some of the things I think she needs from me and her dad:
- She needs to feel loved
- She needs to feel safe
- She needs to feel beautiful (I don't know why this is - but it seems to be true of all girls.)
It sounds so simple, right? Yeah - not so much. This mothering thing is the most gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, hair-pulling, crazy hard thing ever in life. Each day I wake up terrified that I'm gonna screw up - and each night I lay there praying I'll do better the next day. There are wonderful moments sprinkled in, but most of the time - it's just trial and error. I hate that. Each day is a new adventure - we are truly taking it one day at a time.
I've decided to start a mom's support group - for moms of school-aged girls. I figure there's strength in numbers - right?
I'm also on the search for books and resources to help me in parenting my three girls. If there are any books or other resources that have helped you - please let me know.
Monday, December 29, 2008
What do you do...
I was sitting at lunch today with my parents (and my children, of course) and my mom looked at me and said, "What's going on? It looks as though your brain is about to explode!" She was SO right. I have so many things I need to do this week - take kids to the doctor, take myself to the doctor, make some lists, more laundry than anyone can imagine, housework, make some more lists, get my van fixed (if it can be), and so much more. Not to mention that much of the things on my list require money - ugh.
I'm also completely overwhelmed with the generosity and kindness of the people around me. My family has been blessed this Christmas from so many different directions in ways we never could have expected. I think I'm most overwhelmed by it because I know we really don't deserve all this kindness - but know that it's God's way of blessing us. It always amazed me how God constantly is telling me how much He loves me through all kinds of ways. God is so good.
I suppose I will go back to my lists now - I'm hoping that my brain will not explode before I finish them :)
What do you do when you're overwhelmed??
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Ugh's all around.
Yesterday was that day for me. Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong, I messed up everything I tried, and at the end of the day I just wanted to fall into a ball on the floor and cry. Ugh.
On a somewhat related note - lately, I seem to want to complain about everything. Have you ever been that way? I hope that you haven't. Everything and everyone around me has been getting on my nerves lately - mostly because of my own perception and perspective. And of course, I often feel the "need" to vent. I absolutely HATE this about myself. I'm sincerely praying today that God will deal with me about it. I know that He also hates the complainer in me and I am praying that He will help me to get rid of it entirely. Double ugh.
I visited my mother's library (hugh stash of books) today to try and find something that will help me learn to be less complain-y and more content and kind and all that stuff. I found a few good things. If you have any ideas for resources/studies - please let me know.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Ricky's Birthday
Today my sweet husband turns 31!
Can't believe that I've known this man for almost 11 years now. It was like a fairy tale when we met so many years ago. We worked together at the Magic Time Machine restaurant in Dallas. I was a busgirl and he was a waiter. I was only 17. I know I may sound crazy - but I truly do believe in love at first sight. Many moons ago, when we were both working one night. The whole group went out to eat after work. There were so many of us - we had to get a huge table. I was sitting next to my best friend and the guy I was sort of dating at the time. Ricky was across the table and to the left - not really close enough to talk to. In fact, we had never spoken to each other before that I remember. At one point in the evening, someone made a joke that was only sort of funny. I remember that immediately our eyes met. It was as if we had some inside joke between only the two of us. We shared a moment together with our eyes that I will never forget. It was the beginning of a beautiful love story.
Every single day, I am in awe that God has chosen such a perfect person for me. It's funny to me how from the outside it seems an odd matching. But God knows so much better than we ever could. He knew that there could never be anyone more perfect than Ricky for me. I am absolutely head over heels for this man. He is the other half of me - the better half for sure. I sincerely pray that God allows us to grow old together. I truly believe that he is my soul mate.
Here's a poem Ricky wrote for me almost 10 years ago...
Soul-Mates
Beauty beheld, a most wondrous sight.
Anxiety quelled, my heart takes flight.
Stirrings of love, an angel's eyes.
Sightings from a dove, view from the skies.
Heart leaps at a smile
Fear banished in exile.
Two brought together by courage and fate.
Love pulls two into one, destiny of soul-mates.
~ Happy Birthday, honey! I love you!
The lack of CHRIST in Christmas
Last night we attended Elisa's school "Holiday" program. It was called "DecemberNights, December Lights". I think the purpose of the program was more to say - hey, see how pc we are - instead of celebrating any sort of holiday. Throughout the program, they fully explained the holiday of Hannukah and Kwanzaa and one other I don't remember which. But they NEVER explained Christmas. They never even mentioned Jesus! I found myself crying a couple of times, not because my kid was so cute (which she was), but because this entire "Christmas" program completely ommitted Christ. I kept looking out over the completely packed room of people and found myself so very sad and completely overwhelmed with the "lost"-ness in the room. So many of those people didn't know Jesus, so many of them couldn't care less about Him. That makes me so very sad.
Truth is, we won't have much of a Christmas this year. We aren't doing gifts at all - not even to our kids. We just can't afford it this year. And honestly I'm a little sad about that. BUT - I still am so excited about celebrating Christmas. I KNOW it's not about the gifts. I'm hoping that this Christmas will be even better than any of the others, simply because we've been forced to take out all the commercialized junk, and have the opportunity to really focus on the point of it all.
I was able to be a part of our church's Sharing Christmas ministry this year. We weren't able to adopt a kid, but I was able to be a part of distributing gifts and food to a family in need. I went with some friends and we delivered to 3 different families (very different, actually). The first family was a very young mother and father and two small kids. When we got there, the 7 year old little girl asked her mom if it was her mom's birthday b/c she couldn't understand why else someone would bring gifts to them. The wonderful woman I was with asked the little girl if she knew that we were celebrating Jesus' birthday. Both kids looked at us with blank stares. I honestly believe they may never have heard Jesus' name before. Take a minute and take that in. Never heard the name of Jesus!! As we were leaving, my friend asked if we could pray for the family and the mom reluctantly said sure. As we were praying, the 5 year old little boy came up to his mom and asked her, "Mom, what are they doing?". He had never seen someone pray before!!
As we drove home, I began to cry. Here I am, sad about the fact that my family can't participate in all the gift giving. BUT, this family is missing out SO much more than we are. This young family has food and presents - but they don't have hope or peace. I found myself praying that the little boy would continue to ask questions, until someone would be able to answer them.
I am overwhelmed this year with the lack of Christ in Christmas! I can't seem to get into the "spirit" of Christmas this year. I am finding myself sad instead of joyful. I can't seem to shake it. There are SO many people all around me without hope and that makes me SO very sad. I am praying that God will use my discontent to move me to action. I pray that He gives me opportunities to share the hope that He has given to me. I pray that my eyes are opened even more to the desperate and hopeless all around me - and that God would use me to splash some joy or hope onto them in some way.
"My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus 'tis now."
Monday, December 08, 2008
Weekly Weigh-In
Weight - 220 (that's .5 pounds lost - ugh)
I haven't had time to do measurements yet - with 2 somewhat sick kiddos.
On another note - I promise to blog a real blog very soon - I have much to say.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Weekly Weigh-In
So..
Weight = 220.5 (I tested it 4 times to be sure :) - I lost 1.8 lbs lost
Waist = 48 - that's 1.5" lost
So far, I've lost 13 pounds total (5.57% of my body weight) - YEAH!
Not exactly on target with my goals (I should be at 211 this week) - but I'm okay with that considering it's right after thanksgiving.
How are you guys doing?
Monday, November 24, 2008
Weekly Weigh-In
Weight - 222.3 (that's .6 pounds gained - Ugh!)
I guess those pieces of candy yesterday morning and the multiple sodas this week have taken their toll.
How are you guys doing?? I haven't heard from many of you in a while - any updates?
~ Kim
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Holy, Holy, Holy
"God is holy. A lot of people say that whatever you believe about God is fine, so long as you are sincere. But that is comparable to describing your friend in one instance as a three-hundred pound sumo wrestler and in another a s a five-foot-two, ninety-pound gymnast. No matter how sincere you are in your explanations, both descriptions of your friend simply cannot be true.
The preposterous part about our doing this to God is that He already has a name, an identity. We don't get to decide who God is. God said to Moses, 'I am who I am'. We don't change that.
To say that God is holy is to say that He is set apart, distinct from us. And because of His set apart-ness, there is no way we can ever fathom all of who He is. To the Jews, saying something three times demonstrated its perfection, so to call God 'Holy, Holy, Holy' is to say that He is perfectly set apart, with nothing and no one to compare Him to. That is what it means to be 'holy'."
I LOVE the sumo-wrestling friend analogy. We don't get to decide who God is. He already is. We can learn who He is to a certain degree. And despite my seemingly constant state of confusion about what He's going to do next, I am grateful that I will never fully understand God. If God were able to be fully understood, what kind of God would that be? I enjoy the big-ness of God - the fact that His ways are not my ways. But that He is bigger than I know, more powerful than I could dream of, He is beyond my wildest imaginations - that's the God I love!
I'm reminded of an old children's song at this moment. I know it's a little silly - but there is so much truth in the words of the song. Come on, sing it with me now:
"My God is so BIG!, so strong and so mighty - there's nothing my God cannot do!
I'm believing God's BIG-ness today!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Weekly Weigh-In
Waist: 48.5
That's 1.3 pounds this week, and 0 inches.
I did lose .5 inches in my hips & .5 inches in my bust, though - so Yeah!
I haven't been working out - but I will do better this week, so hopefully my numbers will be better next week.
I've lost a total of almost 12 pounds now - and am starting to see and feel a difference - yeah again!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Giving Opportunities
Operation Christmas Child

Basically, you take a regular shoe box and fill it with little toys, hygeine items, and other things. You specify if it's for a boy or girl, and include $7 for shipping. Then you drop it off at a specified location and Samaritan's Purse delivers it for you. Really easy - and inexpensive - way to help a child at Christmas time.
Shoes 4 Souls

This was new to me this year - but I'm seeing it everywhere. It's such a great organization that has already made such an impact around the world. Check out their fall newsletter for more great info about what they're doing. It's as easy as it sounds - you can donate shoes or donate money for shoes for as little as $5.
Give Worship

This is also a very cool idea. Basically, you can purchase musical equipment for worship leaders across the globe. I LOVE this idea. You can even purchase something as small as guitar picks or a guitar strap. What a beautiful way to participate in worship all over the world. Please check it out.
Amazima Ministries International

This ministry is very dear to my heart right now. A young woman named Katie started this organization. She ministers to the children in Uganda - the hurting, the sick, the orphaned, the poor. Her story of what she is a part of in Uganda is absolutely beautiful. She helps to take care of the basic needs of these children while also providing them with education. But she cannot do it alone. In order to send all 150 children to school, and provide for their basic needs - Amazima Ministries needs donations of ANY amount to help. You can donate as little as $1 if that's all you have to give. Please visit Katie's blog for more information on how to donate.
I hope that these organizations inspire you to give of your time, resources and love to those who need your help.
Giving Opportunities
Operation Christmas Child
First, this is an organization that Elisa and I have participated in for a couple of years now. It's a fun and easy thing that her and I do together each year. She has so much fun wrapping and putting together the shoe box full of stuff.

Basically, you take a regular shoe box and fill it with little toys, hygeine items, and other things. You specify if it's for a boy or girl, and include $7 for shipping. Then you drop it off at a specified location and Samaritan's Purse delivers it for you. Really easy - and inexpensive - way to help a child at Christmas time.
Shoes 4 Souls

This was new to me this year - but I'm seeing it everywhere. It's such a great organization that has already made such an impact around the world. Check out their fall newsletter for more great info about what they're doing. It's as easy as it sounds - you can donate shoes or donate money for shoes for as little as $5.
Give Worship

This is also a very cool idea. Basically, you can purchase musical equipment for worship leaders across the globe. I LOVE this idea. You can even purchase something as small as guitar picks or a guitar strap. What a beautiful way to participate in worship all over the world. Please check it out.
Amazima Ministries International
This ministry is very dear to my heart right now. A young woman named Katie started this organization. She ministers to the children in Uganda - the hurting, the sick, the orphaned, the poor. Her story of what she is a part of in Uganda is absolutely beautiful. She helps to take care of the basic needs of these children while also providing them with education. But she cannot do it alone. In order to send all 150 children to school, and provide for their basic needs - Amazima Ministries needs donations of ANY amount to help. You can donate as little as $1 if that's all you have to give. Please visit Katie's blog for more information on how to donate.
I hope that these organizations inspire you to give of your time, resources and love to those who need your help.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Weekly Weigh-In
Weight: 223 (.5 lbs lost)
Waist: 48.5 (1.5" lost)
I lost .5 pounds this week (but have now lost a total of 10.5)
I lost 1.5" in my waist, 1" in my bust & 1" in my hips this week (for a total of 2.5"- waist, 1.5"- bust & 2" -hips)
(by the way - I've decided to use the newer scale - so that I can account for even the .5 pound that I lost this week :)
Although I'm quite disappointed in myself for falling off the wagon this week a little, I can live with those numbers. 10.5 pounds is quite a lot.
Ricky was hugging me this morning before he left for work and said that I feel different. That really made me feel good - so although I vow to do better next week, I'm not discouraged yet.
How did you guys do?
Friday, November 07, 2008
Lessons from a 2 Year Old
I really wanted to spend some alone time in prayer, but with 2 little ones - it wasn't an option at the time. So I decided to take the 2 little ones with me and take a walk to go pick up Elisa from school. I got both girls loaded up into the 2 person stroller (which is wonderful, by the way) and off we went.
We were barely to the sidewalk when Syd (my 2 year old) started telling me (not so politely, I might add) that I was going the wrong way. "No, this way Mommy!!" she kept telling me. "Wrong way - go that way!" she said. I laughed a little at the fact that my tiny little 2 year old thought she knew better how to get there than I did, then I sweetly said to her - "Sydney, I promise I know the way - why don't you just sit there and enjoy the ride."
Immediately I felt as though I was the funny little 2 year old, and God was the one laughing at me saying, "Kimberly, I promise I know the way (in fact, I am the Way) - why don't you just sit back and enjoy the ride."
I smiled a little as tears began to stream down my face. I am so tickled sometimes at how God chooses to speak to me.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Kisses from Katie
You need to read this young woman's blog about her ministry in Uganda. I was blown away not only by her and her ministry - but also by the incredible things God is doing through her in the lives of children there.
Please especially read this post.
Katie - I am honored to have stumbled on your blog today. I am praying for you today - and will continue to pray. You touched my life today - thank you!
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Mr Potato Head on Gratitude
SSCC FamJam - The 10 Lepers, Mr. Potato Man Style, A Lesson in Gratitude from Fred McKinnon on Vimeo.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Weekly Weigh-In
Last monday, my old scale said 220, but the new scale said 226.6
This morning, my old scale said 217, but the new scale said 223.5 - I lost 3 pounds this week!
SO - do I add 6.5 pounds to my original numbers and start only using the new scale?? I'd rather have correct numbers than to continue using the wrong ones. But the idea of adding 6.5 pounds to my numbers is kinda sad. Either way - I've lost the same number of pounds - so that's the good news.
What should I do? - any opinions??
Sunday, November 02, 2008
I Surrender All
"If I obey Christ in the seemingly random circumstances of life, they become pinholes through which I see the face of God. Then, when I stand face to face with God, I will discover that through my obedience thousands were blessed. When God's redemption brings a human soul to the point of obedience, it always produces. If I obey Jesus Christ, the redemption of God will flow through me to the lives of others, because behind the deed of obedience is the reality of Almighty God."
My pastor talked this morning (we're learning about Jonah) about how our obedience (or rather lack of) not only affects us, but also those around us. I am humbled by the idea that my life is such a small part of the big picture. My sister has been saying recently that my life is just a tiny part on a canvas that is bigger than I can see or imagine (I'm pretty sure I quoted that wrong - but you get the idea).
I'm overwhelmed today with how small I am and how large He is. But yet also how important it is that I live daily and in every circumstance in complete surrender and in total obedience to Him.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Picture Tag...and I'm it
Friday, October 31, 2008
The empty parts of me
One of the things Beth said is this:
"The mystery I will never fully understand is why we would trade God, the only source of genuine satisfaction, for worthless idols that can never satisfy. Yet that transaction calls to you and to me every day of our lives."
I loved this statement. I agree with it. I, too, am a little confused by the truth in it.
It makes me think of what Paul said in Romans 7:15:
"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." (ESV)
I am a little encouraged that I am not alone in this. It amazes me how I continue to seek out satisfaction in things - in people, relationships, attention of others, food, and so many other things - that I already know won't give me what I want or need.
I've had moments where I knew God was trying to teach me to depend solely on Him - that there isn't anything else (or anyone else) that can fill my soul. I remember one of those moments came when Elisa was a baby. She was about 5 or 6 months old - and Ricky had very recently been diagnosed with Leukemia. I was trying to stop depending on my relationship with my husband to satisfy my soul, because I had no idea whether or not he'd still be here in a year - and I didn't want to be left entirely devastated. So, then, without even realizing it - I turned to my perfect little baby to fill the empty spaces in me. I would stay awake at night and watch her sleep because I was afraid that if I left her side for a moment that she would stop breathing and my whole world would come apart. She became everything to me - to the exclusion of the One I really needed.
One night, when I was watching Elisa sleep - I began to cry. I was so terrified of losing my husband and daughter that the fear was beginning to consume me. I was beginning to have a hard time functioning normally. I had become crazy overprotective, and was beginning to hate that part of me. I pulled out my Bible and began to read. I started to read through the Psalms and found so many verses that talk about finding my satisfaction in God alone, He alone is God, God alone is my rock and my salvation, and so many more. I was overwhelmed with the understanding that God wanted me to look only to Him to satisfy me. That night I surrendered my husband and my Elisa to Him. I came to understand that God could take them away from me in a split second if He thought it was best and there would be nothing I could do about it. I had to come to grips with the fact that they are not mine at all, but God's - and they will never satisfy the empty parts of me. Only God can do that.
I will never forget that night - I will never forget that moment of surrender. It's been almost 8 years since that night - but I still have to surrender them to God on a regular basis - sometimes even daily. How quickly we return to our old ways. I am so grateful that I know a God who so often and so freely gives grace to those who seek Him.
Jesus, thank You for Your grace today. For Your desire and ability to fill me up in all of my empty places. I pray that today I will look only to You to sustain me. That You alone will be my desire.
"You open Your hand and satisfy the desies of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made.
The LORD is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them.
The LORD watches over all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy.
My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD,
let every creature praise His Holy Name forever and ever!"
(Psalm 145:16-21)
Thursday, October 30, 2008
My favorite quote
The quote I'm talking about, though is this one...
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." I first heard it over 10 years ago in high school drill team. It dramatically changed my life. I have probably quoted it over a hundred times since then - at least. I also about 5 years ago fell in love with Charles Swindoll - his book "The Grace Awakening" especially. I consider him to have had a huge impact on my walk with Christ. I LOVE that the man who has had the most impact on my spiritual walk is responsible for the quote that has had the most significant impact on my character.
I don't know why I never looked it up to see who wrote it - but I am so glad I now know. Here is the whole quote:
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education,
than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
It will make or break a company … a church … a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past.
We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude …
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.
~ Charles Swindoll
Thanks to Rachel Rowell for the information - it made my day (maybe even my week)
Monday, October 27, 2008
Family Night #1
Worms (which Sydney LOVED!):
Jack-O-Lantern Sandwiches:
And for dessert,
Jack-O-Lantern Jell-O:
Then we tried on costumes...
It was a really fun night. Elisa started the night as a farmer - b/c Syd is a cow. But ended the night as Super Girl - actually she decided she was actually Word Girl. She also wore a scarf around her nose while carving the pumpkin because of the smell. Funny. I also love Maya's expression in the pic w/ all 3 girls - like "what the heck is going on?" Hilarious.