About Me

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Heart Factor

I've been blogging since May of 2005. Crazy, right? I was reading back through some of the very first blogs I wrote and came across this one...I figured since I have pretty much all new readership (is that a word?) I would re-blog one of my very first blogs...

I have just started reading a book called "The Sacred Romance" by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge and had to share a piece of it with you: "In the end, it doesn't matter how well we have performed or what we have accomplished - a life without heart is not worth living. For out of this wellspring of our soul flowers all true caring and all meaningful work, all real worship and all sacrifice. Our faith, hope, and love issue from this fount, as well. Because it is in our heart that we first hear the voice of God and it is in the heart that we come to know him and learn to live in his love." It is often interesting to me, although not suprising, that when God is trying to tell me something He will continue to tell it to me in as many ways as possible until I get it. Well, God - message received.
In the beginning of the book I am reading, the author mentions that all of us - no matter our relationship with Christ, are always wanting more. More love, more emotion, more meaning - More Heart. I can definitely relate to the desire for more out of life - as I'm sure you can. I have been overwhelmed with the feeling lately that there is so much more than I am getting. I seek God - but do I seek Him hard enough? I praise God - but do I praise him often enough? I worship God - but do I worship with ALL of my life, or simply with my song? I have to confess that everything I could ever give would never be enough. So, how do I get more? I'm not exactly sure. I suppose that just knowing that there is more will force me to seek harder and praise more often and try to learn how to worship with everything that is me. At least I hope that is the case.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Weekly Weigh-In

Okay - confession time...

I HATE weekly weigh-ins. I gained 3 pounds this last week. Probably because I've been sick, the kids have been sick - and I haven't been to the grocery store in almost 2 weeks - so we've eaten out ALOT. Ugh.

Honestly, I'm not really very motivated right now to do much better. Kids are still sick - and I feel like I haven't slept in a week (probably pretty close to the truth).

However, I KNOW - God desires better from me. He demands my very best. He will not settle for my leftovers (no food pun intended). I know that He expects me to be the very best me I can (I know it sounds cheesy - but it's true). SO - I WILL do better this week. Meet me back here next week for an update. Same bat time, same bat channel :)

Monday, January 05, 2009

Weekly Weigh-In

Okay - so I honestly completely forgot to weigh-in this morning. In fact, I've been forgetting a lot lately. I did weigh in last week, though - and also yesterday...so...

Last week - 221.9 (that was last Tuesday)

Yesterday - 221

I think that considering I ate a LOT of sweets during Christmas - that's not too bad. I've mostly maintained - although I'm 1 pound heavier than I was a month ago - ugh.

I worked out 3 times this last week, though - so hopefully I'm on the right track now.

By the way...am I the only one still doing this Biggest Loser thing? 3 more months to go - anyone still in?

Friday, January 02, 2009

Little girls

I am learning a lot about little girls - since I am trying to raise 3 of them. Being a mother is - BY FAR - the hardest thing I've ever attempted. Not because of the potty training, non-sleeping baby, the many trips to the doctor, the constant struggle with messy rooms and messy faces and baths, and all the cooking and cleaning and such - although all of that is hard. It's because of the many, many emotions that swirl around inside a girls head ALL the time. Little girls are more like little enigmas - it's really impossible to figure out what to do with them.

My little girl is 8 1/2 now. But 8 1/2 nowadays is more like 10 1/2 was back in my day (like I'm SO old). She is growing up so much faster than I did - at least it seems that way. She is asking questions I don't have answers to, and is worried all the time about everything. Did we worry that much when we were kids? Sometimes I worry that her worry is a result of my worry. - wow - that's a lot of worry!

I'm realizing today that there really are just a few things that she needs on a daily basis. Here are some of the things I think she needs from me and her dad:
  • She needs to feel loved
  • She needs to feel safe
  • She needs to feel beautiful (I don't know why this is - but it seems to be true of all girls.)

It sounds so simple, right? Yeah - not so much. This mothering thing is the most gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, hair-pulling, crazy hard thing ever in life. Each day I wake up terrified that I'm gonna screw up - and each night I lay there praying I'll do better the next day. There are wonderful moments sprinkled in, but most of the time - it's just trial and error. I hate that. Each day is a new adventure - we are truly taking it one day at a time.

I've decided to start a mom's support group - for moms of school-aged girls. I figure there's strength in numbers - right?

I'm also on the search for books and resources to help me in parenting my three girls. If there are any books or other resources that have helped you - please let me know.