About Me

Monday, December 29, 2008

What do you do...

when you're overwhelmed? As for me, I make lists. Lots of them. Sometimes I even make a list of the lists I need to make. Crazy, huh? It soothes me. I'm really not sure why it helps, but it at least feels like it does.

I was sitting at lunch today with my parents (and my children, of course) and my mom looked at me and said, "What's going on? It looks as though your brain is about to explode!" She was SO right. I have so many things I need to do this week - take kids to the doctor, take myself to the doctor, make some lists, more laundry than anyone can imagine, housework, make some more lists, get my van fixed (if it can be), and so much more. Not to mention that much of the things on my list require money - ugh.

I'm also completely overwhelmed with the generosity and kindness of the people around me. My family has been blessed this Christmas from so many different directions in ways we never could have expected. I think I'm most overwhelmed by it because I know we really don't deserve all this kindness - but know that it's God's way of blessing us. It always amazed me how God constantly is telling me how much He loves me through all kinds of ways. God is so good.

I suppose I will go back to my lists now - I'm hoping that my brain will not explode before I finish them :)

What do you do when you're overwhelmed??

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Ugh's all around.

Have you ever had one of those days where everything you attempted went to complete junk?
Yesterday was that day for me. Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong, I messed up everything I tried, and at the end of the day I just wanted to fall into a ball on the floor and cry. Ugh.

On a somewhat related note - lately, I seem to want to complain about everything. Have you ever been that way? I hope that you haven't. Everything and everyone around me has been getting on my nerves lately - mostly because of my own perception and perspective. And of course, I often feel the "need" to vent. I absolutely HATE this about myself. I'm sincerely praying today that God will deal with me about it. I know that He also hates the complainer in me and I am praying that He will help me to get rid of it entirely. Double ugh.

I visited my mother's library (hugh stash of books) today to try and find something that will help me learn to be less complain-y and more content and kind and all that stuff. I found a few good things. If you have any ideas for resources/studies - please let me know.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Ricky's Birthday

[disclaimer: this post contains much sappy-ness]

Today my sweet husband turns 31!

Can't believe that I've known this man for almost 11 years now. It was like a fairy tale when we met so many years ago. We worked together at the Magic Time Machine restaurant in Dallas. I was a busgirl and he was a waiter. I was only 17. I know I may sound crazy - but I truly do believe in love at first sight. Many moons ago, when we were both working one night. The whole group went out to eat after work. There were so many of us - we had to get a huge table. I was sitting next to my best friend and the guy I was sort of dating at the time. Ricky was across the table and to the left - not really close enough to talk to. In fact, we had never spoken to each other before that I remember. At one point in the evening, someone made a joke that was only sort of funny. I remember that immediately our eyes met. It was as if we had some inside joke between only the two of us. We shared a moment together with our eyes that I will never forget. It was the beginning of a beautiful love story.

Every single day, I am in awe that God has chosen such a perfect person for me. It's funny to me how from the outside it seems an odd matching. But God knows so much better than we ever could. He knew that there could never be anyone more perfect than Ricky for me. I am absolutely head over heels for this man. He is the other half of me - the better half for sure. I sincerely pray that God allows us to grow old together. I truly believe that he is my soul mate.
Here's a poem Ricky wrote for me almost 10 years ago...


Beauty beheld, a most wondrous sight.
Anxiety quelled, my heart takes flight.

Stirrings of love, an angel's eyes.
Sightings from a dove, view from the skies.

Heart leaps at a smile
Fear banished in exile.

Two brought together by courage and fate.
Love pulls two into one, destiny of soul-mates.

~ Happy Birthday, honey! I love you!

The lack of CHRIST in Christmas

It's been a WHILE since I last blogged, I know. I have loads of excuses. Lots of life happening lately. But mostly it's because I haven't really been in the mood. I've been dealing with lots of stuff lately and didn't want to spill it all on my blog for the world to see. So I just didn't blog at all. And I don't really have anything wonderful to say - I just had to get something off my chest (so much for self control, huh?)

Last night we attended Elisa's school "Holiday" program. It was called "DecemberNights, December Lights". I think the purpose of the program was more to say - hey, see how pc we are - instead of celebrating any sort of holiday. Throughout the program, they fully explained the holiday of Hannukah and Kwanzaa and one other I don't remember which. But they NEVER explained Christmas. They never even mentioned Jesus! I found myself crying a couple of times, not because my kid was so cute (which she was), but because this entire "Christmas" program completely ommitted Christ. I kept looking out over the completely packed room of people and found myself so very sad and completely overwhelmed with the "lost"-ness in the room. So many of those people didn't know Jesus, so many of them couldn't care less about Him. That makes me so very sad.

Truth is, we won't have much of a Christmas this year. We aren't doing gifts at all - not even to our kids. We just can't afford it this year. And honestly I'm a little sad about that. BUT - I still am so excited about celebrating Christmas. I KNOW it's not about the gifts. I'm hoping that this Christmas will be even better than any of the others, simply because we've been forced to take out all the commercialized junk, and have the opportunity to really focus on the point of it all.

I was able to be a part of our church's Sharing Christmas ministry this year. We weren't able to adopt a kid, but I was able to be a part of distributing gifts and food to a family in need. I went with some friends and we delivered to 3 different families (very different, actually). The first family was a very young mother and father and two small kids. When we got there, the 7 year old little girl asked her mom if it was her mom's birthday b/c she couldn't understand why else someone would bring gifts to them. The wonderful woman I was with asked the little girl if she knew that we were celebrating Jesus' birthday. Both kids looked at us with blank stares. I honestly believe they may never have heard Jesus' name before. Take a minute and take that in. Never heard the name of Jesus!! As we were leaving, my friend asked if we could pray for the family and the mom reluctantly said sure. As we were praying, the 5 year old little boy came up to his mom and asked her, "Mom, what are they doing?". He had never seen someone pray before!!

As we drove home, I began to cry. Here I am, sad about the fact that my family can't participate in all the gift giving. BUT, this family is missing out SO much more than we are. This young family has food and presents - but they don't have hope or peace. I found myself praying that the little boy would continue to ask questions, until someone would be able to answer them.

I am overwhelmed this year with the lack of Christ in Christmas! I can't seem to get into the "spirit" of Christmas this year. I am finding myself sad instead of joyful. I can't seem to shake it. There are SO many people all around me without hope and that makes me SO very sad. I am praying that God will use my discontent to move me to action. I pray that He gives me opportunities to share the hope that He has given to me. I pray that my eyes are opened even more to the desperate and hopeless all around me - and that God would use me to splash some joy or hope onto them in some way.

"My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus 'tis now."

Monday, December 08, 2008

Weekly Weigh-In

Well, it's been an icky week. I have plenty of excuses as to why my stats stink - but I'll not annoy you with them.

Weight - 220 (that's .5 pounds lost - ugh)

I haven't had time to do measurements yet - with 2 somewhat sick kiddos.

On another note - I promise to blog a real blog very soon - I have much to say.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Weekly Weigh-In

So, I fully expected to have gained about a billion pounds after Thanksgiving. I did, however, watch what I ate (except for the homemade mac n cheese - yummm). And I made a sugar free, fat free chocolate pie for me and Ricky - and stayed away from most of the other sweets.


Weight = 220.5 (I tested it 4 times to be sure :) - I lost 1.8 lbs lost
Waist = 48 - that's 1.5" lost

So far, I've lost 13 pounds total (5.57% of my body weight) - YEAH!

Not exactly on target with my goals (I should be at 211 this week) - but I'm okay with that considering it's right after thanksgiving.

How are you guys doing?