I just got back from church. I help with the worship at the weekly youth service. Tonight was kind of a big night because most of our youth are leaving for Honduras on Saturday early am for a mission trip. We introduced a new song tonight - my very favorite song in the world right now - it's called "I Will Go" by Starfield. It is incredibly appropriate for the youth right now - it's all about being obedient to go wherever God leads you. I cannot begin to describe how much I love this song. After we sang it tonight I got shaky. It has always been my dream to "go". I've always envisioned myself going all over the world to tell people about Jesus. However, I have never been anywhere. Seriously. I've been on a plane one time and that was a short 45 minute trip to Corpus Christi for a work trip several years ago. I've never been out of the country. In fact, I think the farthest I've gone from home is Illinois (for a family reunion when I was a kid).
Last Sunday morning we had a special time of prayer for the group that is about to leave for Honduras. Only moments into the prayer time, I found myself sobbing. For a bunch of reasons. One of which was that I so desperately wished that I could go with them. I was sad that I was not able to go. My mother went to Africa many years ago and I wanted to go with her. She almost went back a second time and I prayed hard that God would allow me to go then. There have been so many opportunities - and each time God has made it clear that I was not to go. I've often found myself acting like a little kid that wasn't allowed to do something that their sister was able to do - pouty and whiny that I didn't get to go. Sunday morning - God gave me an attitude check. I realized that although I have not been allowed to go up to this point - I have been allowed to "go" right here. For this season in my life, I am to go and tell to all of Jerusalem - and I have to be good with that. I am not called to Honduras right now - or Peru - or Africa. Although I still hold out hope that someday God will allow me to "go" a little further from home - right now I am excited about my Jerusalem. I am excited that God would choose to use me right here. I will be content with where I am - and allow God to use me to reach the people right around me. I will go - wherever He leads.
"I want to live for You, go where You lead me,
I want to follow You...
Take everything I am, I'm clay within Your hands
I will go, I will go, send me!"