After a multi-month hiatus from playing guitar with the youth I finally returned to my post tonight. After some technical difficulties, we finally were able to quickly run-through the songs about 15 mins to start time. 2 of the 3 songs were pretty new to me (and everybody else) and so I was a weird mix of excited and nervous about it all. I love new songs - and couldn't wait for everyone else to experience them the way I have. One of the new songs was "Reign In Us" from Starfield's new album. Not my favorite on the album (that would be I Will Go), but def in my top 3. Anyway, I felt like I flubbed the guitar playing (I never claimed to be a guitarist), sped up what I should have slowed down, couldn't find the words to say what I wanted to say, and as a whole barely got through it all.
All this to say that I am not the most talented, the most prepared, the most confident, the most comfortable - but I am, amazingly, still allowed by God to do something that makes my soul so entirely happy. I am almost always nervous & I have no idea whether it makes any difference to anyone - but God still allows me to be a part of His big picture & I am completely humbled by it all.
I guess that's all I wanted to say. I'm feeling really grateful tonight and thought I should share.