I think I've found it.
Throughout my life I have found very few things that discourage me or bring me down. Even when everyone else around me gets discouraged, I am usually able to see right past the source of discouragement to the very best of the situation. I am a firm believer that in every situation there is something good, something to learn, someone to connect with, you get the point. In fact I usually thrive in those situations because I am able to be an encourager to those around me - I love to encourage.
Today, I am discouraged.
I'm not sure what specific event brought it on - but I am definitely discouraged. Not in a way that will disable me, and I don't believe I will be down for long, but today I find myself distracted.
Let me tell you why. Today I am overwhelmed by the huge quantity of people that are disconnected from God (myself oftentimes included). I know that there are huge amounts of people that do not know Christ, but today I feel it. My heart is actually aching w/ hurt for those people! This isn't why I'm discouraged. I'm discouraged because I'm thinking about the church - and how little we've done as a whole to help people find what they so desperately need. Don't get me wrong - there are so many people that are living their lives on mission for Christ. But as a group - are we even trying? I am sickened by my own disobedience in this area, and am so discouraged to find that I am definitely not the only one who has been less than faithful. I cannot speak for those people. I can speak for me. I'll do better. I'll make it priority #1. God has been way more than faithful to me - I can only hope to be used in some way to make a difference in His Kingdom. How can we continue to give Him anything less than everything???