Memory Lane

Sometimes I find myself wandering down memory lane.  Facebook makes it easier than ever before to become stuck in the what-if's and why's of all the disappointments, redirections and losses of the last several years.  I find myself reading statuses of friends I miss and wishing we had never lost touch.  I find myself grieving the people and places I've had to walk away from over the years.  I find myself wondering what might have been if things had turned out differently.

Being in ministry is hard.  Really, really hard.  Doesn't help that I'm 4 months pregnant and overflowing with baby hormones either.  I absolutely LOVE where I am now - honestly.  But loving where I am and knowing it is exactly where God has placed me doesn't take away the feelings of grief for all that I've had to leave behind over the years.  I try not to let myself go there very often.  I have so many very dear friends that, due to having to leave a church, I just naturally lost touch with.  I have retained a few, a very few and I know that those that we "lost" aren't really lost and that they are just doing life with new friends now.  Which is exactly as it should be.  And so are we.  My family is so blessed to be a part of the most accepting, kind hearted and loving church we could have ever asked for.  They are incredibly good to me and my family and I thank God every single time I think about the place He has created for us at Bear Valley.  I truly, truly am so grateful.

I wonder if Paul ever felt this way?  Following God's call from church to church, city to city, he must've made so many friends along the way.  He must've started ministries.  I know that he spent long periods in certain places, and I wonder how he must've felt when he left Antioch or Corinth or Ephesus?  I wonder how he felt when he was imprisoned in Caesarea?  I wonder if he longed for Antioch and the people he left there?

Sometimes "memory lane" brings wonderful feelings of all the blessings God has granted over the years.  And I have those moments too - often actually.  But sometimes this trip down "memory lane" reminds me of the cost of following Christ - the cost of ministry - the cost of discipleship.  It is real and it is painful.  Walking away from a ministry is never easy.  I have had to leave several places/ministries over the years and each time I learned more about who God is through His provision, His mercy and sometimes, His correction.  I can list pages and pages of things I would've done differently if I knew then what I know now.  But if I had done them differently, I suppose I wouldn't have learned the lessons I have.

I recently came across several quotes that speak to my heart on this matter.
Here is one, author unknown:

Lord, here I hold within my trembling hand this will of mine, a thing which seemeth small;
But only Thou, O Christ, canst understand how when I yield Thee this, I yield mine all.
It hath been wet with tears and stained with sighs,
Clenched in my grasp till beauty it hath none.
Now from Thy footstool where it prostrate lies,
The prayer ascendeth, 'Let Thy will be done.'

Here is another, author unknown:

I'm willing to receive what You send,
To do without what You withhold,
To relinquish what You take,
To suffer anything You inflict,
To do what You command,
To be what You ask me to be;
At any cost now and forever.

And my favorite, by Andrew Murray:

"I am here by God’s appointment, in His keeping, under His training, for His time.”

I have spent the last week or so memorizing that last one.  I cannot even tell you how many areas of my life it speaks to right now!

  I am here by God's appointment.

  I am in His keeping.

  I am under His training.

  He will reveal to me His purposes in His time.

I suppose that every once in a while it's important to take that trip down memory lane.  To see where God has brought me.  To be reminded of all I have lost and all I have gained.  To count it all as loss and to remember that the only thing worth gaining is a stronger, deeper relationship with Jesus Christ.  

Memory lane is inevitable, and grief is to be expected...but in all this, perspective is critical.  Everything I walked away from, everything I "lost", every ministry I had to leave behind was a necessary step in becoming the woman, the Christ follower, the Worship leader that God intends for me to be.  I don't think there's anything wrong with sorrow or grief for the past, unless it takes the place of hope for the future.  My focus needs to be on Christ - whether it's on His provision and correction in the past, His mercy in this moment, or His revelation for the future.  

for love...for truth...for mercy.

There seems to be a lot of judgment going around church circles lately.  Or maybe I'm just more keenly aware of it than ever before.  I know that Christians are often believed to be judgmental by those who are not Christians.  However, I have never felt that way...until recently.  I have always believed that Christians were more loving than judging and more accepting than condemning.  Again, perhaps I have missed it or ignored it somehow.  Or perhaps, with society's enormous push towards "tolerance", some Christians have felt the need to be even more vocal about what they believe to be so very wrong.

I may get myself in trouble here.  You may not agree with me - and that's completely okay with me.  However, I just don't understand the need to be so very vocal about what everyone around you (especially those who are not Christ followers) might be doing wrong according to your viewpoint.  I hate the word "tolerance".  I don't understand the need for the word.  I wish that people were kind enough and loving enough that the word "tolerance" wouldn't have to be such a huge thing right now.

I don't want to just "tolerate" people!  I want to learn to love them!  In every situation, every family, every group - there will be people we don't get along with and we have to learn to "get along" or "tolerate" each other for the sake of the bigger picture.  Yes.  True.  However, a Christian is not meant to "tolerate" their neighbor - we are meant to love them! (Matthew 22:36-40; Mark 12:30-31).

But SO often we are known for our intolerance rather than our love - intolerance to love - what a HUGE gap that is!  What are we teaching our kids?  To love only those who agree with us?  To love them, but to make sure they know they are wrong?  Is that really love at all?  I don't think it is.  It breaks my heart to see so many groups of people treated so very poorly by the Christian community.  Disclaimer: I know SO many Christians who are so very loving and accepting of all of those groups - so I know it's probably more the exception than the rule.    But isn't it true that one bad apple spoils the whole bunch?!  I don't ever want to be that bad apple!  No wonder people don't feel welcome in the church when well-known pastors are tweeting about God's judgment of people via the tornadoes, when there are churches like Westboro Baptist who judge and hate all men equally (unless they are exactly like them).

I understand that God's truth is important.  I understand that the Bible is full of truth and conviction, and that it is "alive and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12).  But there are so many Christians these days who believe it is their responsibility to "divide soul and spirit, joints and marrow and to judge the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

Yes - it is our responsibility to speak truth....in love...at the appropriate time...and by the leading and direction of the Holy Spirit.  I am a truth teller.  I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I believe something "wrong" is happening.  I understand the desire to set people right.  I really do.  I also understand that the purpose of truth telling HAS to be setting people right, helping people grow, loving them with our words and our purposes - NOT judging them or hurting them.  Some things are not your business, pastor.  Some things should NOT be said in public forums - or at all for that matter.  What is the purpose of your words?  To judge or to love?  Conviction or compassion?  To tear down or to build up?  Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is useful for building others up."  I have that one memorized.  Not because I am awesome at it - but because I'm not.  I have to pay very close attention to my words - every - single - day.  Or I'll slip.  I'll judge.  I'll show hate instead of love.  I don't ever want to be known for what I stand against - but rather what I stand for.  
Jesus stood for love.  for peace.  for acceptance.  for grace.  for truth.  for mercy and kindness.

Want to be more like Jesus?  I do.  I don't want those around me to be reluctant to let me in for fear that I might judge them.  Heck - I don't want to be reluctant to let people in for fear that they may judge me!
I want to be a true Christ "follower".  I want to stand for love....for truth...and for mercy!

Blessed and Happy

It's been almost 5 months since we started homeschooling.  I've learned more about my kids in the last 5 months than I have in the last several years - especially my oldest!  We've spent the last 5 months getting to know each other again, establishing a routine of sorts, trying out curriculum, figuring out how not to completely demolish our house every single day (still working on that one), and really enjoying our time together (at least I have been ).

My oldest LOVES homeschooling!  She says it is more fun and that she actually likes what she's learning (for them most part).  She really does seem to be thriving.  The big middle is doing well too - I can't give her enough work to make her happy - she keeps begging for more.  She's gone from reading easy readers to reading chapter books in just a few short months - she especially loves the adventures of Ramona Quimby (one of my own personal favorites!).  The little middle is not quite as thrilled with homeschooling.  She is a bit of a different child and it is taking me a little longer to figure out her unique learning style - but we're working on it!

I really cannot explain how much I've been learning about each of my children!  It has been such a journey up to this point and I am thrilled with the choice that we made to homeschool.  Perhaps the most wonderful thing I have learned over the last few months is how incredibly blessed I am, how very much I adore my children, and how I don't want to miss another minute of their growing up.  I don't even want to think about all that I've already missed.  I just want to move forward without taking even one of those moments for granted.  What a blessed and happy Momma I am!

Why We've Decided to Homeschool

Any who know me are already shocked at the title of this blog.  Yes, after much discussion, we've decided to make the enormous jump to homeschooling our brood of awesome little circus freaks.  We very much feel that it is the best option for our family at this time.  Here are some of the reasons why we've made this decision:

We want more family time.  Our kids are growing up so fast and we're missing so much!  My husband works over an hour away from our home (usually a 1 1/2 hour commute each way) and so he's usually gone for more than 12 hours each day.  He leaves before we get up and gets home just in time for dinner.  Then there's about an hour of family time, then bedtime routines.  He usually gets no more than ONE HOUR of quality family time with our 4 kiddos each day.  That's just not enough - for our girls or for him.  We've talked through many options - changing his job, us moving closer to his job - neither of which are options for us right now.  If we homeschool - we can shift our schedule to be able to stay up later and spend more time with Daddy.  I also have to confess that I miss my girls when they're at school all day.  I feel like I'm missing out on so much with each of them and I would love to be more of a part of their every day lives.  We also want them to be able to spend more time together.  It's incredibly important to us that our girls learn not only to love each other but also to like each other!

We want a more well-rounded and challenging education for our kids.  My kids are capable of so much more than they are currently learning in school.  My oldest is an enormous reader and loves history, but in school she seems to be more bored than interested most of the time.  We want her to be able to learn at HER pace (which is a bit faster than average) and in keeping with her personality.  We also want to be able to teach her from a Christian perspective, and to teach her things she isn't able to learn in public school - like Biblical History or Music Theory or even Greek (her suggestion, not mine). 

That's really it.  I know that some will disagree with our choice and that's okay.  It doesn't have to work for you to work for us.  I sincerely hope that we'll find acceptance and encouragement along the way - but if we don't, that's okay too.

We're just getting started on this Homeschooling journey - it's a bit scary and overwhelming, but I know that eventually I'll get the hang of it (at least I hope so).  I've been searching for curriculum and reading every bit of information I can get ahold of - mostly from sites like www.thecurriculumchoice.com and www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com along with several others that are truly fantastic resources.  There are so many resources out there - I'll test some out and then let you know what we think later.

But for now...

To those who are on the Homeschooling journey ahead of me - I hope you don't mind if I ask tons of questions over the next several months. 
To those who are just starting the journey with me, I hope we can encourage each other.
To those who think I'm completely nuts - I hope you'll continue to love and encourage me anyway.

Order and Peace

I've been working really hard lately trying to find my new "normal".  With four young kids (three not yet in school), my life feels so very different than it did 5 years and 3 kids ago.  With one kid I felt overwhelmed most of the time, party because I was newly married and very young but mostly because being a mom is incredibly hard.  Harder than I imagined or dreamed.  But better too.  With four kids, being a mom is still incredibly hard.  It is a very different hard though. 
With one kid, I juggled all the demands of mommy-hood with the dreams and desires I had for myself.  With four kids, I still juggle - but now I juggle karate and dance schedules, mountains of laundry and more meals and snacks than I ever would have imagined.  And nowadays, my desires for myself seem more simple - like getting a shower everyday, or being able to get through an entire meal without having to share what's on my plate. 
With one kid I had a big fat list of eager sitters who couldn't wait to watch my little princess.  With four kids I have to beg, bribe or blackmail people to watch my four crazy drama queens.  Don't get me wrong - I have really good kids.  More than once I've hugged one of my sweet girls in the grocery store while whispering in their ear, "thank you for not being THAT kid!"  I think people are just intimidated by the sheer number of them.  I get it, though.  Sometimes they scare me too.

So, in an effort to create some stability and structure, we've introduced a new family/household schedule

I've tried this before, but was pregnant at the time and couldn't stick with it (I'm not much for structure).  So far we're about a week in and, although I haven't stuck with it as much as I have wanted to, it's been pretty good so far.  I think the kids are even enjoying knowing what's coming up.  I'm a little embarrased that I never have put this together before now!

I've also made new chore boards for each kid and hung them up on the wall.  We've always had chores but usually went week by week telling each kid what their chore was for the week.  I like this ALOT better.  Each kid has a morning and an evening task every day and a weekly task each week.  They may change occasionally, but probably not very often.  They are doing MUCH better doing chores without me asking (or bribing) (or griping) (or having a meltdown).  Here are their boards (the four white boards surrounding the calendar and schedule):

I've also been looking for a way to help them understand that their attitude matters - so I made a Family Values board and hung it on the wall too.  Everytime their attitude or actions are an issue I take them to the board and we talk about the Family Values and why what they're doing is not in line with the things we value as a family.  I've only had to do it a few times, but I think it's already starting to sink in! 

I've also been working hard on meal planning and couponning and all the other tedious things that make me wish I had a personal assistant and a personal chef (and while I'm dreaming, a maid!).  There are a couple of websites that I use at least weekly - sometimes daily and I LOVE them!  Here they are - check them out and see for yourself how they'll save you both time AND money!

http://www.plantoeat.com/ - this is a subscription based website (but it's super cheap) and it saves me buckets of time in planning meals!  You can add recipes from all over the internet with an easy little button you install on your toolbar and then add them to your personal meal planner (click and drag!).  You can even add notes, other ingredients, etc.  From the recipes, it compiles a list of ingredients needed and sorts them into categories so that you can either print a grocery list or just pull it up on your phone and check it off as you shop!  Seriously!!  I am madly in love with this website!

http://www.thegrocerygame.com/ - another subscription based website (but totally worth the price).  If you're going to coupon - this is the way to do it.  All the major work is done for you - saving you tons of time!  You pay by the store for the coupon/savings list.  I use the Walgreens list and the Alberton's one.  I routinely save at least 50% on my groceries by using this website which more than pays for the subscription!

There are tons of other websites that I love and use weekly, but I'll save them for another post at another time.

All of the above is just my way of taking back my life and my home so that we can find order and peace in the craziness of a larger family.  I hope that some of it helps you find peace and order in your own family life whether large or small!

Blog Overhaul

Time for a blog overhaul.  It has been well over a year since I last blogged - probably because of the most recent addition to our little family, which has left me with very little free time.  Little Finley Rose is now almost six months old and so I thought it was time for me to overhaul the old blog so that I can use it for something a bit more suited to this new mom of 4.  So, stay tuned...much more to come in the months ahead.  In the meantime, here's our sweet princess, Finley Rose...

God's purpose for your life...

In Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost for His Highest" today I heard God speaking directly to me.  It always amazes me that although I've read through this devotional almost every day all year for at least the last five years, how it always suprises me what comes off the page.  I very rarely read a day and go - oh yeah, I read that last year...it always seems new.  Here's a little bit of what I read this morning...

"Once God has begun the process of sanctification in your life, watch and see how God causes your confidence in your own natural virtues and power to wither away.  He will continue until you learn to draw your life from the reservoir of the resurrection life of Jesus.  Thank God if you are going through this drying-up experience!"

I am very much in this drying up experience, but wouldn't have thought of it exactly in this way.  I knew that God was working in my to decrease my dependence on myself and increase my dependence on Him, but love the way that Chambers puts it here.  The idea that he dries me up, or causes my confidence to "wither away" is an interesting picture.  It doesn't really sound like a good thing.  But read through what Paul writes in Philippians 3:1-14:

"Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you.  Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh.  For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh— though I myself have reasons for such confidence.


If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Paul is talking about having confidence in our own virtue (the very same thing that Oswald Chambers is talking about).  Read verses 4-6 again, he says he is a Hebrew of Hebrews, faultless by the standards of the Jewish laws, he is everything a good Jew should be.  But he considers it all a loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ.   That's it.  The most important thing to Paul was not doing what he was supposed to do, or being who he was supposed to be - but knowing Jesus Christ.  That's it.  Nothing is more important or fulfilling than that one thing.

I feel that often we get caught up asking ourselves WHAT God wants us to DO.  Or WHERE God wants us to BE.  And those are good things.  It's important to seek God's will for our lives and our work.  BUT, if we are missing out on simply seeking HIM, then we've missed the entire point.  We need to be more concerned with KNOWING CHRIST and becoming more like Him, than we are knowing God's will for our lives.  You want to know God's will for your life?  Here it is.  Are you ready? - 

 TO KNOW HIS SON AND TO BECOME MORE AND MORE LIKE HIM! 

That's it.  Everything else should be towards that aim.  Otherwise it is just not worth it at all.

That's what I'm learning.  What about you?

The Practice of the Presence of God - Determination

I'm currently reading a small little book called, "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence (a carmelite monk who lived in the late 1600s).

I'm purposefully reading it slowly so that it will more fully sink in.  If you have never read it - you NEED to.  It's a very quick read (less than 100 pages) and I have kindly put the link for you to buy it on Amazon right her on my handy little blog.  So - there you go.

ANYWAY :)

Here's something that really spoke to me today from the 1st little section of the book...

Brother Lawrence writes:
"...if we are truly devoted to doing God's will, pain and pleasure won't make any difference to us.  We also need to be faithful, even in dry periods.  It is during those dry spells that God tests our love for Him.  We should take advantage of those times to practice our determination and our surrender to Him.  This will often bring us to a maturity further on in our walk with God."

There is SO much in these few sentences!  I had to read that first sentence several times.  Read it with me again, "...if we are truly devoted to doing God's will, pain and pleasure won't make any difference to us."  What does that mean?  Well, to me it means that I cannot let my feelings determine where I go or what I do.  I cannot let how I feel about a situation change how I act within a situation.  I must trust only the truth of God's Word - the faithfulness of His character and the sovereignty of His plan!

That next section is important too!  Have you ever gone through a time in your life (or are you in one right now) where you are having a hard time discerning God's voice and His will for your life?  Or maybe you're not understanding why God has you in a certain place, a certain ministry, a certain situation? 
We've ALL been there.  I think Brother Lawrence has some beautiful advice for us for those times.  "We should take advantage of those times to practice our determination and our surrender to Him!"

I once heard Beth Moore (one of my favorite Bible Study teachers) say that if you're having a hard time believing God, then you should ACT like someone who believes.  I think the same holds true here.  We must be determined to surrender to God - it won't simply happen.  It's an act of the will.  Deciding to follow when we don't feel like it, or trust when we're not sure we're believing it, or worship when we simply don't want to is not something we should do - but something we MUST do.  In choosing to behave more like one of God's chosen - we will begin to more fully understand what it actually means to follow.  In choosing to try harder to discern the voice and will of God, we will begin to get better at getting still and actually listening.  Sometimes God chooses to be quiet so that we will lean in closer.  It's not because He doesn't want to talk to us but because HE DOES!  It's not because He loves you less, but because HE LOVES YOU MORE!! 

If you're having a hard time discerning the voice and will of God, don't get discouraged and give up.  Get determined.  Get focused.  Get QUIET.  and lean in a little closer.  Get into His Word! 
He's there waiting for you to do just that!

Rise Up & Sing

Just started reading a new book by Lex Buckley that I LOVE so far.  If you are a female worship leader, it is a must read.  Check the link below, buy it and read it right now.  It is well worth the price!

A Swift Blow to the Head

For about a week I've been feeling like I recently got the wind knocked out of me.  Then yesterday I literally had a bucket of cleaning supplies fall on my head.  I just stood there trying not to lose my lunch and trying hard not to cry - although I could not keep the tears from filling my eyes.  I wasn't sure what to do - should I lay down? Should I sit?  Should I call someone in case I pass out so the girls won't be left alone with their mom laying limp on the floor - I know, I know - I'm terribly dramatic.  I had no idea what to do.  I knew what I wanted to do - I wanted to be held by my big, strong husband and told that it was going to be okay and then I wanted to eat a bunch of cheesecake.  Exactly how I have been feeling all week.  In fact, today I made a pan of cheesecake only to accidentaly spill a cup of lemonade all over it ruining it.  Sad.
I wish I could tell you that I have some profound new understanding of my situation and what I'm supposed to learn through all of it - but I don't.  I am still sitting here feeling exactly the same way I did at the beginning of this week - windless. 

I have been reading the book of Ruth for the last few weeks - little by little.  I believe that Naomi, and Ruth too for that matter, must have felt something similar although probably on a much larger scale.  I'm sure they felt, when they lost their loved ones, that they just had the wind knocked out of them.  They had left Judah because of a famine and went to Moab. While there, Naomi's husband died and eventually also her two sons died.  They had left their home, the only place they had ever known and had ended up somewhere entirely new.  After some time there, the new place became a place of sorrow - a place of great loss.  Naomi had a moment, I am sure, where she didn't know what to do next.  She must have been scared, confused, angry, sad - and a hundred other emotions to be sure. 

I feel that way right now.  I recently left a place that felt like home to me and ended up in another place where I knew no one.  Although I am still certain that I was following God's leading in leaving my comfortable place and going to the place He called me, I am now fighting with the feeling that it might've been easier if I hadn't gone there at all.  It would've hurt less if I had stayed where I was comfortable.  It would have saved myself and my family a lot of hurt if I had just ignored God's call.  I wonder if Abraham ever felt like that?  Or if David ever thought it would've been easier if he had remained a shepherd boy instead of becoming the King that God desired.  Or if Peter, while sinking in the Sea of Galilee, thought maybe he should've stayed in the boat?  I know it's not necessarily the right thing for me to be wondering right now - but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. 

I know that God's purpose for me remains, and I know that He is as loving as He has always been.  I also know that I am a different person than I was three months ago and that God will work it all out for His glory.
He is, after all, still God.  He is just.  He is good.  Although I don't understand the why of it all, or what I'm supposed to learn from it all - and maybe I never will - I DO know that I would follow Him there all over again.  A hundred times again - I would.  I love the Lord, Jesus Christ, with all my heart and soul and am committed to living wholeheartedly for him and to following wherever He leads.

There's a song that I have recently fallen in love with that seems appropriate right now for me.  It's called What Grace is Mine, written by Keith & Kristyn Getty and is on their album, "Awaken the Dawn".  Here are some of the lyrics:

So I will go wherever He is calling me. 
I'll lose my life to find my life in Him.
I give my all to gain the hope that never dies. 
I bow my heart, take up my cross and follow Him.

Sunday Song Devotions - July 11, 2010

Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."


It Is Well With My Soul
Author: Horatio Spafford
 
One of the songs we sang Sunday was, "It Is Well With My Soul," by Horatio Spafford.
It is actually one of my favorite hymns simply because the story behind when and why it was written is so beautiful.  Here's the story...

Written by a Presbyterian laywer Horatio G. Spafford (1828-1888) and composed by Philip P. Bliss (1838-1876).  Spafford was born on October 20, 1828 in North Troy, New York. He was a successful lawyer in Chicago who maintained a keen interest in Christian activities, deeply spiritual and devoted to the scriptures.

Sometime in 1871, a fire in Chicago heavily devastated the city, and months before that , Spafford had invested hugely in real estate by the shore of Lake Michigan. The disaster greatly wiped out his holdings. Before the fire, Spafford also experienced the loss of his son.

Two years after the fire, Horatio Spafford planned a trip to Europe for him and his family. He wanted a rest for his wife and four daughters, and also to assist Moody and Sankey in one of their evangelistic campaigns in Great Britain. He was not meant to travel with his family. The day in November they were due to depart, Spafford had a last minute business transaction and had to stay behind in Chicago. Nevertheless, he still sent his wife and four daughters to travel as scheduled on the S.S. Ville du Havre, expecting to follow in a few days. On November 22, the ship laden with his wife and daughters was struck by the Lockhearn, an English vessel, and sank in few minutes.

After the survivors were finally landed somewhere at Cardiff, Wales, Spafford's wife cabled her husband with two simple words, "Saved alone." Shortly after, Spafford left by ship on his way where his beloved four daughters had drowned, and pen at hand, wrote this most poignant text so significantly descriptive of his own personal grief – "When sorrows like sea billows roll..." The hymn "It is Well with My Soul" was born.

It is noteworthy that Horatio Spafford did not dwell on the theme of life's sorrows and trials, instead, focused in the third stanza on the redemptive work of Christ, and in the fourth verse, anticipates His glorious second coming.

This song is a wonderful example of the attitude that we should have and the importance of right perspective in all that we experience day to day - whether it be financial struggles, loss of loved ones, or even inexpressable and paralyzing sorrow in a situation that is more than just about anyone could bear (such as it was for Mr. and Mrs. Spafford).  It is important that we learn as Horatio did to say, "Hallelujah Anyway!"  When we can't stand to face another day, when we don't understand why we have to go through a horrifying situation, when our grief or sorrow is almost too much to bear - we need to look our circumstances in the face, and learn to praise God - not in spite of our circumstances - but in the midst of them.  We must learn to say, "It is well" - even when we don't understand why it is so.  God's sovereignty is bigger than our situation, God's love is bigger than our sorrow, God's mercy is greater than our failures.  We can say with confidence, "It is well", when we stop focusing on our difficulties, but instead learn to focus on the One who is Lord of our circumstances. 


"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul."

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
let this blest assurance control,
that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
and hath shed his own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
the clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
the trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
even so, it is well with my soul.

Learn to do Good. Seek Justice. Help the Opressed...

I read this passage today in my quiet time.  I can't get it out of my mind.  I know that it's just sitting there waiting to mess me up entirely.  I hope so.  I can't wait for God to mess me up.  Here's what it said...

"Wash yourselves and be clean!  Let me no longer see your evil deeds.  Give up your wicked ways. 

Learn to do good.

Seek Justice.

Help the opressed.

Defend the orphan.

Fight for the rights of widows.

Come now, let us argue this out, says the LORD.  No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it.  I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow.  Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool.  If you will only obey me and let me help you, then you will have plenty to eat.  But if you keep turning away and refusing to listen, you will be destroyed by your enemies.  I, the LORD, have spoken!"

Isaiah 1:16-20

Transition

I've been working on so many things lately that my blog has sort of fallen through the cracks.  Boo.

Mostly I've been just enjoying my summer away from the classroom with my three favorite girls - so I guess it's actually a YAY!  I've been on a sort of blog-cation I guess.  But I'm ready to get back at it. 

I have so much to post, but I suppose I'll start with letting you know that I have a new church and a new ministry there.  It all happened a bit fast, and I've been a bit busy since, but Ricky and I are very excited and are certain that God has led us to this place in our lives and we will follow in obedience to the One that we serve. 

There will be much more to come about all this, but for now - I'll just say that although we KNOW that this was God's leading and are very excited about our new church and all of the new friends we have already met and begun to share our lives with - we will VERY MUCH miss our family at FBC Watauga.  We've spent the last three years sharing our lives with each of you and sharing yours also - and we hope that will continue.  We love each of you more than words can express and are very sad that we won't be able to see you multiple times each week.

Thank you SO much for all your understanding, love and support during this transition for our family.  We are and forever will be grateful to our family at FBC Watauga and know that God will continue the work He began in the beautiful family of believers there and also through my family and new church at Eagle Mountain Baptist Church.

Philippians 1:3-6 seems appropriate right now to describe the way I feel...

"I thank my God every time I remember you.  In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now,  being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Sunday Song Devotions - June 27, 2010

Cannons
Psalm 99:9 - "Exalt the LORD our God, and worship at His holy mountain; for the LORD our God is holy!"
Author: Phil Wickham

This song is one of my favorites and is a wonderful anthem of praise.  When we acknowledge who God is and what He's done, our only response can be that of obedience, surrender and awe.  This song inspires that in me and I'm hoping that by teaching it to our church that it will do the same for each of you.  This song is all about that journey from understanding who God is and how worthy He is to our only possible response to that revelation - worship.

Here are the words...

It's falling from the clouds, a strange and lovely sound
I hear it in the thunder and rain
It's ringing in the skies like cannons in the night
the music of the universe plays

You are Holy, Great and Mighty
the moon and the stars declare who You are
I'm so unworthy, but still You love me
Forever my heart will sing of how great You are

All Glory, Honor, Power is Yours AMEN!
All Glory, Honor, Power is Yours AMEN!
All Glory, Honor, Power is Yours, forever AMEN!!!

What a beautiful anthem of declaring worth to God.  I pray that as we go through our daily routines, and regular difficulties this week that we will be recognizing and celebrating God's amazing worth and through our obedience, our kindness, our love and our service to others we will give Him the worship He alone deserves.

A Mighty Fortress is our God
Author: Martin Luther

AND
A Mighty Fortress
Author: Christy Nockels

I put these two songs together because, to me, they go together.  They both talk of the safety and security we have in Christ.  I think that there are too many frilly, girly worship songs out there (not that I don't love some of them).  I just think that it would greatly benefit the body of Christ to have more songs like these two in our worship services.  I think they are the type of songs that men connect with - the ones that bring with them mental images of battle, war, weapons, fire, victory and triumph. 

We can talk about how lovely and beautiful Christ is - and that is important too - and very scriptural and true.  But we also can't forget how mighty and awesome and powerful God is - able to conquer any foe, demolish any stronghold and bring victory to any battle.  That's the God of the Bible! 

Think about Old Testament stories like that of David, Moses, Abraham, Gideon, Esther - all magnificent stories of God intervening in this world and bringing victory to His people.  The New Testament carries the word of the most amazing triumph in all of history - that of Jesus Christ, the Son of God - Creator of the Universe triumphing over sin and death on the cross.

Worship is about coming to a greater understanding of who God is and what God has done and responding in whatever way God is leading - in Spirit and in truth.  These two songs each tell the truth about who God is and inspire in us a reverence for the power and majesty of God. 

It is said that Martin Luther was inspired by Psalm 46 when he was writing this famous hymn.

Psalm 46 says:

"1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

2 Therefore we will not fear,
though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

Selah

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Selah

8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields [b] with fire.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Selah

Sunday Song Devotions - June 13, 2010

I've been a bit under the weather this week, so this post is late - sorry.  But better late than never definitely.

I absolutely love each of the songs chosen for Sunday's service.  I love that each of them flows into the next and they all tie together.  Although it is not always the case, I often try to take a sort of journey with the songs that I choose for a Sunday morning.  I believe that worship is our response to who God is and what God has done.  Considering that definition, it is important to start with who God is and what God has done and then it is an easy transition to begin to think (or sing) about what that means to us in the here and now.  So that's what Sunday's music was all about. 

We began our service with a celebratory song about God's holiness (Holy is the Lord).  This song, written by Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio reminds me of the verse in Isaiah 6 that says, "And they were calling to one another: 'Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory." (Isa 6:3). 
I especially love the bridge of this song that says, "It's rising up all around, it's the anthem of the Lord's renown."  The words, though a bit complicated and fancy simply are saying that we (the Lord's renown) are raising up an anthem of praise for the Holy One.  Beautiful.

Next comes I Stand Amazed in the Presence and My Jesus, I Love Thee.  Both of these songs are all about what God has done through Jesus Christ.  My Jesus, I Love Thee is one of my favorite hymns because of the simplicity and tenderness of the lyrics.  It was written by a man named William Featherston, who was actually sixteen at the time!  As far as we know this is the only hymn written by him in his short life - he died at the age of 26. 

I have had the awesome privilege of leading worship for middle, high school and college students for several years.  There is something so authentic about the worship that students bring.  It always amazed me how they, who are so young, can be so beautifully passionate about Jesus.  It's no wonder that youth are the ones who start revivals.  They are the ones who can change the world with that kind of passion - Just as William Featherston wrote a song that has been affecting lives and hearts for over 100 years!

Immediately after singing about what God has already done through the cross, we continue in worship of the Lamb who WAS and IS and IS TO COME by singing the song, Revelation Song! 

I love that picture.  From the cross to the second coming - He is and was and forever will be the Holy One - the Almighty - the Only One worthy of our worship!

I found an article written by Jenny Lee Riddle, the author of Revelation Song, that details how the song came to be and what it means to her.  Here's a part of her article:

I, again, began telling Him how much I wanted to SEE and HEAR all creation worshipping Him. The songs being sung by the Bride at that time were focusing on need. My heart longed to focus on something far greater than my need, knowing that all needs would be satisfied with just one glimpse of Him.

Therefore, I asked the Holy Spirit to help me write a song that painted Him; a song that the angels and creation were already singing, so that we could join in with One Voice, as One Bride, to One King.  My heart recalled Ezekiel 1:26-28 and Revelation 4:

“And then, as they stood with folded wings, there was a voice from above the dome over their heads. Above the dome there was something that looked like a throne, sky-blue like a sapphire, with a humanlike figure towering above the throne. From what I could see, from the waist up he looked like burnished bronze and from the waist down like a blazing fire. Brightness everywhere! The way a rainbow springs out of the sky on a rainy day—that's what it was like. It turned out to be the Glory of God! (Message)

“…a throne set in heaven, and One sat on the throne. And He who sat there was[like a jasper and a sardius stone in appearance; and there was a rainbow around the throne, in appearance like an emerald. Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and on the thrones I saw twenty-four elders sitting, clothed in white robes; and they had crowns[] of gold on their heads. And from the throne proceeded lightenings, thunderings, and voices… Before the throne there was a sea of glass, like crystal… And in the midst of the throne, and around the throne, were four living creatures… And they do not rest day or night, saying: ‘ Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, Who was and is and is to come!’…”

I put the baby down to play with his toys, picked up the guitar, and began to play four chords I had “discovered” the day before. Immersed in those scriptures, the Lord helped me paint what I was seeing through those passages," Clothed in rainbows of living color, flashes of lightening, rolls of thunder..." The melody stuck. It had the sound of heaven in it. The song wouldn’t leave me and I sang it for weeks.

... (and my favorite part of the article):

“Revelation Song” has taken on a life of its own, and it has been an intense joy to watch the Father “grow it up”, and to hear the Voice of the Bride sing to Jesus; Her voice is so lovely.  I often get asked the song story, and even more often, the question of “how” it got “out there” comes up.  My only answer is that God chooses what He chooses.  No amount of maneuvering, strategizing, posturing, or pitching would have gotten my music “out there”… whatever that means.  I remember telling Jesus with complete sincerity that I could wait until I got to heaven to hear my song sung (although, I also suggested that it would be a terrific song for the angels and great cloud of witnesses to sing when He comes back for us…In the event that He had not already chosen one for the occasion, I didn’t think it would hurt to ask!).

for the full text of the article, or for more articles by Jenny Lee, visit the link below:

http://www.praisecharts.com/live/articles/145/1/The-Story-Behind-Revelation-Song-/Page1.html

Sunday Song Devotions - June 6, 2010

We Will Glorify
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." - James 1:17

Author: Twila Paris

We will glorify the King of kings
We will glorify the Lamb
We will glorify the Lord of lords
Who is the Great I Am

Lord Jehovah reigns in majesty
We will bow before His throne
We will worship Him in righteousness
We will worship Him alone

The following is from the book, "Open the Eyes of My Heart" devotional book by Integrity:

"Thomas Aquinas taught that God is pure act.  In other words, whatever God is, God does.  It is impossible for God's acts to be inconsistent with His character.  For example, we may be patient people but have impatient moments.  Not God.  The great "I Am" is consistent, always the same.  So we glorify our King, our Lord, the Lamb, worshiping Him alone because we can rely on Him 100 percent of the time.

No burden or need exists that His character can't meet.  He doesn't have days off or suddenly decide to treat us differently.  In fact, He is able to do much more than we could ever think or ask. 

When we need a loving parent, Hw is our "Abba" Father (Romans 8:15)
When we're feeling insecure, He is a "sure foundation" (Isaiah 28:16)
When we're thirsty, He is our "spring" of living water (John 4:14)
When we're vulnerable, He is able to "keep us from falling" (Jude 24)
When we're lost, He is our "light" and our "salvation" (Psalm 27:1)

We get into trouble when we try to meet our needs ourselves!  When we focus on God's amazing sufficiency, we find more than enough.  He wants to fill us to overflowing.  Thank God for being your great "I AM".  He alone deserves your worship!"

All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name
11"You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being." - Revelation 4:11
Author: Edward Perronet, 1726-1792.  Altered by John Rippon, 1751-1836

This hymn is often called the "National Anthem of Christendom."  The hymn first appeared in the November, 1779, issue of the Gospel Magazine, edited by Augustus Toplady, author of "Rock of Ages".  This text has been translated into almost every language where Christianity is known; and wherever it is sung, it communicates to the spiritual needs of human hearts.  One writer has said, "So long as there are Christians on earth, it will continue to be sung; and after that, in heaven."

Edward Perronet was born at Sudnridge, Kent, England, in 1726.  He was a descendant of a distinguished French Huguenot family who had fled to Switzerland and later to england because of religious persecution in France.  Edward's father, a pastor in the State Church of England, was strongly sympathetic with the evangelical movement spearheaded by the Wesleys and George Whitefield.  Edward, too, became a minister in the Anglican Church but was always critical of its ways.  Once he wrote, "I was born and I am likely to die in the tottering communion of the Church of England, but I despise her nonsense."  Soon, however, he broke from the Church and threw himself strenuously into the evangelistic endeavors of the Wesleys during the 1740s and 1750s.  It was during this time that the Wesleys and their followers suffered much persecution and even violence from those who disagreed with their ministry.  Eventually, Perronet's strong-mindedness and free spirit caused a break with the Wesleys.  Perronet continued to the end of his days as pastor of an independent church in Canterbury, England.

His last words have also become classic:

     Glory to God in the height of His divinity!
     Glory to God in the depth of His humanity!
     Glory to God in His all-sufficiency!
     Into His hands I commend my spirit.

Many interesting accounts have been associated with the use of this hymn.  One of the most remarkable is a story told by E.P. Scott, a pioneer missionary to India.  One day he was waylaid by a murderous band of tribesmen who were closing in on him with spears.  On impulse the missionary took his violin out of his luggage and began to play and sing this hymn.  When he reached the stanza "let every kindred, every tribe," he saw to his surprise every spear lowered and many of these tribesmen moved to tears.  Scott spent the remaining years of his life preaching and ministering God's love and redemption to these people. 

Glory to God Forever
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.  For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. - 2 Corinthians 4:8-11

Author: Steve Fee, Vicky Beeching

This song reminds me that no matter what we go through in life, be it financial issues, loss of a loved one, divorce, health problems that our life is to bring glory to God regardless.  I have personally had moments in the midst of great difficulties and incredible pain where I didn't know how in the world it would bring God glory, but have had to say "Glory to God anyway!"  I heard a wonderful sermon a few months back titled, "Hallelujah Anyway".  The message was simple, that no matter what comes at you in life, whether good, bad, painful, difficult or devastating - there is only one response that is always appropriate - to worship and praise Him anyway - to say "Hallelujah Anyway!".
I think that this song has a very strong message to that effect.  I love the words of the bridge:

Take my life and let it be all for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be Yours!

I sincerely want that to be my constant prayer to God - to take me and use me in any way that will bring Him the most glory.  Like Paul, who was poured out as a drink offering to the Almighty or like Jeremiah, who was called the weeping prophet because he spent his entire life proclaiming a message no one wanted to hear.  Like Abraham, who was willing to kill his own son as an offering of worship to His God.  Or like Esther who gave up her family, her name, her safety and all she had known in order to save God's people by sharing a bed with the one who could have destroyed them all!  We all have different life circumstances, different difficulties, different hurts and sorrows - but we also all have one purpose here on this earth - to glorify the LORD our Maker!

I am reminded of another song that I find to be a beautiful anthem of surrender and worship.  It's called Bring the Rain, by Mercy Me.  The lyrics are below.  I pray that this becomes your anthem today.  No matter what you are going through.  You can decide right now that God's glory is more important than your comfort or peace or freedom.  Sing these words to God in an act of surrender.  God is worthy of glory - not just despite our circumstances, but right in the middle of them!

I can count a million times people asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me - Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord, My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace, Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of the dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me by suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Sunday Song Devotions - May 30, 2010

Sing to the King
"Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before Him with thanksgiving and extol Him with music and song." Psalm 95:1-2

Author: Billy Foote

The following is from PraiseGathering.com:
Sing to the King - Randy Vader
(Friday, March 24, 2006)

“I love to sing. I love to hear singing. I love the idea of using music for the purpose it was created… to bring praise to God. I love everything about the music of the church except the music of the church I don’t like. Music I don’t like distracts me. Music I don’t like makes me angry. Music I don’t like frustrates my ability to worship.”

How many times have we heard comments like these? When I am confronted by dear saints who struggle with this, I always start the conversation with . . . I don’t want to talk about what you like. I want to talk about what you don’t like. And when they vent all of their feelings about the awful state of music in the church- I ask the big question. What is the big question? “Are you prepared to believe that God can use something for His glory that you can’t stand?!”

I certainly have my preferences – but as a song writer and publisher and minister - I try to not let my personal preferences get confused with my Theological absolutes. Because something does not speak to me culturally or does not fall into the realm of my own taste does not mean that it isn’t speaking to someone else.

Psalm 40 tells us that God gave us a song – a song of praise – but He did not tell us what it sounded like… in fact, He did not say that many will hear the song and their lives will be changed… He said that many will SEE and their lives will be changed. I hope those who are trying to praise the Lord don’t see some saints with arms folded and angry looks on their faces or worse yet – getting up and walking out! And lest you think I am above the argument, I am sorry to confess that I have been guilty of all of these. My prayer is that we would spend more time focusing on who we have come to worship rather than how we are going about it. That is where the Scriptures put the emphasis… that should tell us something.

Psalm 40 (A David psalm)
"I waited and waited and waited for God. At last He looked; finally He listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn't slip. He taught me how to sing the latest God-song, a praise-song to our God. More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God."

Psalm 95:1-7
"Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before Him with thanksgiving and extol Him with music and song. For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. In His hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to Him. The sea is His, for He made it, and His hands formed the dry land. Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for He is our God and we are the people of His pasture, the flock under His care."

How Great Thou Art
"O LORD our LORD, how excellent is Thy Name in all the earth!  who has set Thy glory above the heavens." - Psalm 8:1

Author: English words written by Stuart K. Hine around 1933. (inspired by the original which was written in swedish by Swedish pastor, Carl Boberg in 1886)

The original song was actually a poem written by Pastor Carl Boberg in 1886 and was entitled, "O Store Gud".  His inspiration for this text was said to have come from a visit to a beautiful country estate on the southeast coast of Sweden.  He was suddenly caught in a midday thunderstorm with awe-inspiring moments of flashing violence, followed by a clear brilliant sun.  Soon afterwards he heard the calm, sweet songs of the birds in nearby trees.  The experience prompted the pastor to fall to his knees in humble adoration of His mighty God.  He penned his exaltation in a nine-stanza poem beginning with the Swedish words, "O Store Gud, nar jad den varld besgader."  Several years later Boberg was attending a meeting in the Province of Varmland and was surprised to hear the congregation sing his poem to the tune of an old Swedish melody.

Not long after it was written, it was then translated into German by Manfred von Glehn and entitled, "Wie gross bist Du."  Later in 1925, the Reverend E Gustav Johnson of North Park College in Chicago, IL made the first literal English translation fromt he Swedish test.  This translation is quite different from the test that we know today but can still be found in some hymnals.  Johnson's literal translation of the Swedish test is entitled, "O Mighty God, When I Behold the Wonder."
In 1927, I. S. Prokhanoff came upon the German version and translated it into the Russian language.
In 1933, the Reverend S. K. Hine and his wife, English missionaried, were ministering the the people of the Ukraine.  It was there that they learned the Russian translation of "O Store Gud" from a congregation of Ukrainians.

Later, while they were crossing into Sub-Carpathian Russia, where the mountain scenery was so beautiful, they began to write original English lyrics to the song inspired by unforgettable experiences in the Carpathian mountains.  This is where they wrote the first three verses that we sing today.  The fourth was written later upon their return to England. (Source: 101 Hymn Stories by Kenneth W. Osbeck) 

Note from Kim:
I think what is most intriguing about this song is the fact that it is not even nearly the original version that is sung today.  It was inspired by a version of an interpretation of the original.  Yet we consider it sacred.  I personally believe it is lyrically one of the most beautiful of the hymns currently in our hymnbooks, and I'm sure most would agree.  However, like many of the hymns that we consider to be so sacred it is not the original.  So many would argue that it is inappropriate to change, alter or update the hymns.  However, many of them are updates or alterations in and of themselves.  Interesting. 

I think it's a wonderful reminder that the originality of the text is not what makes it sacred, but rather the truth of it.  The reason that Mr. Hine re-wrote this song with English lyrics is so that more people would be able to hear, sing and understand the song that had meant so much to him and his wife.  We need to be willing and ready to do the same when needed in order that those of the 21st century will be able to understand and sing the songs that we have loved for so long. 

What a beautiful reminder that these songs are just simply an opportunity for us to learn something about the character of God and to worship Him for that revelation.  We must remember not to worship the song itself, but the One to which the song was written.
 
How Great Is Our God
"How great is God - beyond our understanding!" Job 36:26
 
Author: Chris Tomlin
 
The following is from Crosswalk.com
in an article entitled, "What are we Singing: How Great is Our God"
written by Eva Marie Everson
 
"Singer/Songwriter Chris Tomlin’s song How Great is Our God has inspired this generation of believers by reminding us that God is no ordinary being sitting on a common throne dressed in rags. God’s very being, according to the Word, expresses magnificence our words strain to capture.
 
Isaiah wrote: In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: with two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory. At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.
 
This paints a powerful picture of who God is and how His Spirit reveals Himself to those who are “ready” to see how wonderful—which is surely a weak word for describing the Almighty—God truly is.
 
From the beginning of time, God has urged us to glimpse into his greatness. In Genesis 28, the patriarch Jacob—who was not quite a father himself but a son on the run—lays down to sleep while traveling from Beersheba to Haran, his mother’s hometown. While sleeping, Jacob dreamed of a stairway stretching from earth to heaven. The angels of God ascended and descended on the ladder, but at the top stood the Lord, who spoke to Jacob, making a lasting covenant with him and his descendents.
 
The prophets’ writings (such as those found in Ezekiel and Isaiah) are filled to overflowing with visions and elements of God’s majesty and sovereignty. The New Testament story begins with God’s display of greatness. Glory to God in the highest, the angels sang above the shepherds' field. And on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.  Jesus' ministry was filled with miracles, His death resulted in the darkening of the sky, an earthquake, the tearing of the veil in the temple, and the opening of graves; the occupants of those graves filled again with life. Three days later He returned from the grave Himself, fully alive.  Forty days after that, He ascended before witnesses just outside of Jerusalem.
 
This same Jesus revealed Himself to John, His beloved disciple, approximately 40 years later in what has become known as John's Revelation. John's description of the Christ is much like those of Ezekiel and Isaiah in detail.
 
His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters…When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.”
 
God displayed his power and will to Paul on the road to Damascus and, at some point, took the apostle (or so theologians believe it was Paul) to “the third heaven.”  Is it any wonder then that Paul wrote:
 
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How Unsearchable his judgments and his paths beyond tracing out. Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God that God should repay him? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever!
 
How Great is Our God!
 
And is it any wonder then that Chris Tomlin penned his words in tribute to the greatness of God? Or that even with the sheer beauty and imagery of the lyrics and the Scriptures, we cannot come close to knowing… to understanding… to reaching the full definition of His greatness.
 
Perhaps none of us, really, are ready to know just how wonderful God truly is."

Real Worship

http://johnmarkmcmillan.blogspot.com/2010/02/wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve.html

I love John Mark McMillan.  Mostly because he's so honest and real in his songs.  I love that.  I think it's something that's altogether missing from worship music.  If you're a songwriter, worship leader, singer, worshipper - please read the above post.  I think it's important that you do.

- Kim

My little lost sheep

Last night as we were getting ready to go to church for rehearsal, at some point Maya went missing.  I thought she was in the play room with the other two girls and I slipped away to go brush my teeth and hair while Ricky loaded the carseats in the car.  I came back a few minutes later to get them cleaned up and dressed.  I called for Maya but she didn't come.  So I started searching (not worried, just in a bit of a hurry).  Couldn't find her anywhere.  I called to Ricky to help me find her - still thinking that she must be hiding behind a chair or table somewhere.  My house isn't that big so when I didn't find her in about five minutes I started to panic.  I called to Syd and Elisa to help us look.  We looked in bathtubs, closets, cabimets, in laundry baskets, in the back yard and the front yard all while calling out her name.  After about ten or fifteen minutes of searching high and low I called 911. 
He started asking me questions about how much she weighed or how tall she was, her date of birth, what she was wearing - most of which I couldn't remember because of the state of mind that I was in.
About a hundred scenarios rushed through my mind as I was running up and down my street calling her little name terrified that she wouldn't be found.
As the police were less than a minute away (I heard sirens), Elisa came out the front door yelling that they found her!  At first I didn't believe it - I said "What do you mean you found her?" confused at how she could just suddenly show back up.  Apparently she was hiding in the very back of my closet behind the low hanging clothes.  What's crazy is that I looked in that closet twice - and even looked behind that rack of clothes!  I called to her when I was looking in there and she didn't answer.  I still am very curious about what was going through her little mind as she hid for 30 minutes without a peep while we were frantically calling for her to come out.
I can't even put to words how I felt when I thought she was lost - and how I felt after she had been found.

I wonder if that's how God feels about us.  I wonder if He feels that same kind of pain when we're trying to hide from Him and refusing to be found.  I know that He knows where we are and so doesn't experience fear.  I wonder, though, if the pain He feels for His lost sheep is anything like the pain I felt last night about my little lost sheep.  I wonder if, when His lost sheep return if He feels anything like I did last night when mine showed back up.

I think the part of all of it that still amazes me is that when we found Maya she had no idea anything was happening.  I couldn't control my sobbing when I was finally holding her again - and she just kept looking at me trying to figure out what in the heck was wrong with her crazy mommy.  She had no idea that she was the one that caused the pain.

I have a feeling that there's a lesson there for us.  I'm still a little too weary and shaken up to explore it fully.  But I know this.  If God loves me more than I love Maya (and I know He does b/c He's the source of the love in the first place), then I know He must feel so much more deeply than I ever could for His lost sheep.  It makes me want to pray so much harder for those lost sheep who mean everything to Him.  It makes me want to look at people differently when I know how deeply the Father cares for them.

Last night was the hardest night of my life so far (and I've had really hard ones!).  I pray that God will use what I've learned for His glory.

Wait, Wait, Wait your turn...

I had a bit of a revelation today during Bible study class.  We were talking about waiting on God and how hard it is to trust in His timing. 

Ever since my oldest daughter was little, I wanted her to be good at waiting.  I think it's hugely important for us to teach our kids that waiting is important and that they can't always have what they want immediately when they want it.  It's so annoying to see a child chanting over and over again what they want and how they want it NOW!  I really, really didn't want my child to be like that.  So, when Elisa was about 2 or so, I taught her a 'waiting' song to make it more fun while she had to wait for something - her turn when playing with friends, for her food to be ready to eat - you get the idea.  The song went like this (to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat)...

Wait, wait, wait your turn - waiting can be fun.
Patience, Patience, Patience everyone.

We sang it over and over and over again.  We would sing it on long car rides when she wanted to be home already, or when she wanted so badly to go play at the park but I had some chores to do first.  It was actually really effective with her.  She had fun with the song.  I think it helped me to teach her that waiting can be fun and how to deal with things that aren't happening as quickly as she would like.  Even now when she has trouble with waiting, I remind her of the song and she'll sing it by herself (sidenote: I have the best kid ever :)

I wonder if I need my own grown up version of the 'waiting' song. 

I have such a hard time waiting on God's timing in just about every area of my life.  I wonder if sometimes He is using my circumstances to teach me about the importance of learning to wait on Him.  I wonder if I will ever learn the lesson.  You would think that each time would get a little easier, or that I would at least be a little less impatient than the last time.  Sadly, I'm not sure that's the case.  I hope that today I've made progress - and that tomorrow I'll be more patient.

I can almost hear Him inviting me to sing along with Him -
"Wait, wait, wait your turn...waiting can be fun. 
Patience, patience, patience everyone."

View from the Fishbowl

I was driving home from my parents house yesterday.  I came to where a small road intersects with a much bigger one.  I was sitting at the light (first one in line) waiting to turn left on the bigger road.  There was a man behind me in a big pickup truck.  He obviously wanted to turn right and was quite annoyed that I was in his way (he could have turned right on red).  He kept turning on and off his blinker and edging a tiny bit closer to my bumper every few seconds to make sure I knew that I was in his way.  I honestly thought it was a little funny, but was also a bit annoyed at his lack of patience and kindness.

Tonight as I was laying in bed trying desperately to sleep, God brought back to mind that encounter.  I began to wonder how often I behave that way.  How often do I wish that those around me would either go my way or just get out of my way altogether?  I'm not talking about driving.  I'm talking about life.  About ministry.  About relationships.  I often get annoyed or impatient with people not doing things the way that makes the most sense to me.  Sometimes even at God.  I often wish that God would do things in a way that makes sense to me.  I often find myself wondering, "Now why'd you do it that way, God?" 

The man in that truck knew nothing about me, my route, my life...but he was annoyed that I was making things harder for him.  It was all about him.  So often we get stuck in the 'but what about me' mindset and forget that "God is painting on a canvas bigger than we can see or comprehend".  Our little piece of the puzzle is just that - a little piece.  When I begin to think I deserve, desire, wish, want or need anything apart from what God says I need - I miss the bigger picture.  I'm seeing things from inside the fishbowl. 

Often God won't let me go to sleep until He's told me what He needed to tell me - until my will is surrendered to His - until my heart is about obedience and the things of God.  Tonight is a night like that. 

My prayer for tonight is that God will help me to step outside of myself, my problems, my hurt, my confusion and try to see things from an eternal perspective instead of from my tiny little fishbowl. 

The Things Kids say...

My conversation with my 3 yr old earlier today:

Sydney: Mommy, do you like me?

Me: Of course I like you!  Why?

Sydney: Because I don't like you.

The Lord is my Maestro

In my Thursday morning bible study, we are studying the Psalms.  Several weeks ago, while studying Psalm 23, we were challenged to create our own psalm.  It took me several weeks, but I finally did.  I know it's a little cheesy and I am a rhyme-er, so it mostly all rhymes.  But - here it is nonetheless:

     The LORD is my Maestro, I will sing for Him alone.

     He fills me with joy and excitement as He lets me play my part,
     He rejoices over me with singing, and puts His music in my heart.

     He stirs my soul and pulls out the innermost parts of me,
     So that I can play a part in His majestic symphony!

     Even when life is hard and I'm stuck in a minor key,
     I know He'll lead me through it with His perfect melody.

     And when no one cares or understands the songs I choose to sing,
     He lovingly reminds me that I'm singing only for my King!

     As God allows, my lifesong will proclaim His Holy Name,
     And then He'll fly me up to Heaven where I'll worship with the saints!

@ Dunn Bros this Saturday night...

What we are worshipping we are becoming...

"A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I read this quote earlier today and was moved by it. Emerson was a pastor in a Christian church early in his life. He then lost his wife and began to pull away from the church. Eventually he spearheaded the Transcendental movement in the 19th century. I wonder at what point in his life he wrote this.

I read this quote and am both inspired and convicted.
I have read through it several times and I completely agree with Ralph on this topic. He's right.

We all worship something.

What we worship determines who we are.

I especially love the last line...what we are worshipping we are becoming.


I pray that is true of me.
I believe that is the true goal of God-worship:
To become more like Christ.

If we are not becoming more like Christ ...
we probably should be asking the question ...

what are we really worshiping?